Shut Your Mouth & Your Fat A**!

10 Jul

You know how when people start a new diet/workout they exclaim every new found skinny happening from trips to the gym, weekly scale readings and new clothes purchases for their new waist size? Yes, I do it too! You ever noticed those same people never fill your timeline with the late night pantry raids, binge eating or skipped trips to “this imaginary gym that you never see them at when you’re there?” I’m excluding myself this time. Well that same selective discretion should be help for relationships.

One of my three rules to dating; Rule Number 3: Shut Your Mouth is something I wish most people would live by. However, like my wish for people not to eat bread in public that’s a fat ship that has sunk.

It’s kind of like brussel sprouts, for some reason we all had this great distain for the edible buds mainly from televisions and other fat kids telling us veggies are gross. Though, upon trying them for yourself you realize wow, these are good and good for you.

That’s what I am dealing with now. Friends will have you hating their significant other whole hearted based solely on the stories they tell.

I have a friend that has been in a relationship for about six months and since day one he has been telling me every annoying, sad and ridiculous incident going on in his relationship to the point that whenever we are all together I just have the instant attitude towards this guy.

It’s serious; I ignore him, talk over him, purposely call him the wrong name every time and take subliminal shots at him every chance I get. Why you ask? Because my friend has only told me the bad about him so that is what I have based my judgment on.

I mean your friends will have you hating people you never even heard of all out of loyalty. Think about it; how many people are you all too ready to pulverize like cheap ice cream over things your friends have said and you never even met them?

For instance, over the weekend I attended my friend’s birthday celebration and I was beyond excited however the minute the car pulled up and I seen his partner was in the car as well my mood shifted drastically. I had to pop a diet pill (because we all know those are my happy pills nothing say excitement like know you’re burning calories while partying at the same time.)

Here’s the gotcha…

As the night progressed so did the fun and as my friend got plastered off empty alcoholic calories I noticed me and his boyfriend spent a lot of time talking, exchanging jokes and workout tips (oh yeah he’s a working model.) I instantly thought of brussel sprouts.

So the next day when my friend came over to rant yet again I lost it to the effect of I blurted out “the way you complain about this boy one would think your yakkety yak is a form of exercise. I’m not saying but I’m say you’re getting fat.”

Once I explained my problem with him we made up over a nice run at the gym and Sunday’s episode of True Blood.

Moral of the story you can’t disclose all the bad about your relationship nor the good it only build prejudice and make you look like the fatty loser.
Be selective be respectable be thin.

You’re Welcome.

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2 Responses to “Shut Your Mouth & Your Fat A**!”

  1. Antonio Maurice Daniels July 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm #

    Many people share way too much about their relationships. Even when one is with his or her best friends, there should be an appropriate amount of information that is shared and that shared information should be balanced. Moreover, some people complain about those they’re in relationships with not because of the people they’re in relationships with but because they have issues with themselves, which, of course, can include issues with their weight, and weight issues impact their self-esteem. We have to exercise tough love and tell our friends the truth; it’s for their best: to improve them.

    • BougieHippie July 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

      I’m reading you clear in HD!!! I live by selective disclosure. Mainly because when you open that door of your relationship to other (friends or family) its no closing it and unwanted opinions will overload and weigh the relationship down.

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