Frail Death Bed Quarrels.

20 Aug

SAVE ME NOW SKINNY-JESUS! I’ve been confined to my bed since last Wednesday with a stomach virus. Granted I’m feeling better than yesterday (I’ve moved from the bathroom floor back to my bed) but I’m ready to get back to the gym and at least put some clothes on, unless this sheet I’ve been draped in is acceptable for public attire. I did visit the doctor today only for him to tell me nothing but “stay hydrated and wait for it to be over.”

I’m really beginning to think it’s time to find a new doctor. I mean my doctor is fat, walks with a cane and last summer he was carrying around an oxygen tank. When does Obama-care kicks in? Meanwhile, in efforts to keep my nausea down and the fact that I’ve ran everyone off with my constant cries of blood murder I’ve had time to think.

By think I mean reflect on the things that bug the crap what’s left out of me. Since no one else is here to hear me gripe it’s my readers turn.

  • “Fashionistas” that comment negatively on others’ Personal Style blogs with no style themselves.
  • Rihanna Boys: Will these dudes let her look go? I mean she did.
  • Morons fabulously dressed in thousand dollar ensembles that do not tip the waiter. At least take a sock back for extra cash if you know you will be dinning out.
  • People, who ask you to bring your own towels, pillow and cover when visiting them. I might as well stay home.
  • Walking into a bathroom and the shower doesn’t have a shower curtain or a rug on the floor. How were you raised?
  • Self-proclaimed shopaholics, who forget to shop for adult dishes, a bed frame and sheets.
  • When you ask for a cup and get handed a jar or an old big gulp cup.
  • When fat people tell me eating healthy is expensive as if those drive-thru trips don’t add up. It cost nothing to run.
  • When delusional fatties think eating a salad or buying protein bars are going to make them instantly lose weight. Like the burger, fries and shake they had earlier don’t count.
  • When bad built people start to post pictures of their disheveled looking body after one day in the gym. Maybe that’s why the picture blurry because your fat is still jiggling.
  • When pathetic boys think you’re their boyfriend after a few text messages and a couple likes of their Instagram pictures.
  • Ugh and mix-matched clothing hangers.

I could go on believe me however, I’m getting dizzy again the best part of this virus is that I weighed in under this month’s goal weight!

Till I’m well,
Bon appetite.

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2 Responses to “Frail Death Bed Quarrels.”

  1. George thegg1 March 14, 2013 at 11:01 pm #

    Random but i have to ask. What exactly are “Rihanna boys”. I think i know but would like some clarification..lol.

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