Gluten Free ≠ Fat Free

16 Sep

Gluten-Free-Family

Perception is everything! Just because you see something one way based on your feelings at the course of events that transpired doesn’t mean that someone should feel the same, shouldn’t see it differently or have a complete different outlook or response to the displayed events.

Take this “gluten-free” craze for example; gluten or Celiac disease is an autoimmune disease attacking the small intestine due to the presence of gluten, for which the disease affects up to 1% of Americans. However, with all the propaganda you see from food makers, marketers and retailers the only treatment for this disease has been perceived as a weight-lost diet. Foregoing the fact that the reason why many with the allergy have lost weight is because Celiac disease has the reserve effect on your body depending your reaction to gluten. If you gain weight due to the allergy well, when you stop consuming gluten of course you are going to lose weight now that your body can better process food– vise versa. But people become angry and disappointed when they gain weight on the diet because they don’t know that the same amount of calories, sodium and sugar (sometimes more) is still in those “gluten-free” products still there blowing them up as if they are the yeast containing the wheat, barley and rye they claim to be the cause of ill fitting denim.

All this to say just because you see something working or not working for someone don’t mean follow it, it should inspired you to do your research and use another view point to get to the root of your weight gaining problem.

The dilemma with perception may not only cause disruption in your diet but your family as well. I’ll start with; all families are crapped up. No child agrees with how their parent raised them, all siblings have disagreements and everyone has brought home a mate that the rest of the family absolutely hated. Should I even go into detail about the stupid choices and mistakes we make that cause a months of not speaking to one another?

Over the past week I have been lost in a hour long conversations with family members (my two aunts, grandmother and cousin) I rarely talk to not because we are mad at one another but more so I always had a perception of them being negative people. Case in point–my dad’s immediate family!

I’m the one rare family member that seemingly gets along with everyone, I believe that being so far removed from them geographically along with personal growth I have been able to develop the ability to see, hear, and become aware of differences and ailments of my family with a diplomatic yet devil’s advocate reassuring point of view.

I noticed that so many family members don’t speak, socialize or support one another because they feel they may have been done wronged, never received an apology or their antagonist never admitted to their wrong doing. Instead of talking about it howbeit, not coming to a common ground or each family member choosing to go their separate ways, they let mal feeling fester turning into more anger and hurt. This is due to no matter who is wrong and who is right in the situation no one is considering the others perceptive all they see is how this effect themselves which is what they react on.

What I’ve learned is that nothing gets solved with silence and for someone to have the ability to hurt you, at one point they loved you. Therefore, the relationship deserved to be revisited, heard and explained from the view point of both parties involved.

All it takes is listening! Even if it’s not something you want to hear, in turn you will hear things you never consider or knew was going on. What I do with opposing situations like dealing with subjective perception is just talk & listen, it’s that simple. About a year ago I had a sit down with my mom, dad and younger brother about the dysfunction in our family and how it was affecting the continuity of our family. We meet at a neutral location; each had an uninterrupted speech of our entire problems with one another. The trick was keeping others quite as we were cock and load to interject with our own perception of events if it didn’t add up with the talker’s. We just made notes on paper that we all were able to address on the next round of discussions. In the middle of the tears, yelling and awkward silences we (the parent and kids) realized and became aware hurts and mislead assumptions that we would have never consider was the reason or result of our actions.

Did people fail to admit to their part in some of the riffs? Yes. Did things get completely resolved? No. Did it bring us closer and able to move on without bringing up past events? Yes.

Overall, it worked for my immediately family. We still fuss and gripe but its over new stuff as well as we have a better understanding of where someone is coming from and how to handle disagreements.

We all know that with family the fight is never about the fight that is happenings at the moment. It’s all about being heard. You don’t have to agree with someone to solve a problem or enjoy one another’s company but you have to be willing to be diplomatic and work things out so that you won’t go on missing out on great happenings in one another’s lives.

Listening is gold when trying to decipher through perception. In turn reaching your goal became a lot easier. You learn not only about the problem, the other person but yourself as well. Well all can take some time to do some research to keep from being a bitter fat ass.

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