Go Be Fat With Your Man.

6 Oct

Travis Smith by James WhiteTravis Smith by James White for HERO magazine

Am I the only one that always proclaim that the minute I lose this weight, tone these thigh or build this chest that I’m never putting on clothes every again? I understand why muscle boys cut up every shirt that makes it into their closets, even their winter attire consist of deep V- necks and extra small cowl-necks to display their cut physique.

I’m a fan only because I know how much time in the gym, deprivation in the kitchen and discipline at catered functions goes into chiseling a chiseled body. With all that focus you deserve the right to walk around in barely there attire. After all it’s great daily thinspiration for us onlookers, right.

Take dating for instance, I’m a very understanding, supportive no fuss friend when it comes to my close friends getting new mates. You’ll never hear me complaining about my friends being boo’d up, canceling plans with me for their lover or ignoring my phone calls (if they even attempt to call) as they become immersed in their new romance.

As a friend and a participating dating person I am aware of the stress, mistakes and wanting for companionship that we deal with in this crazy dating world.

I’m pro romance, my only caution is that they maintain their midriff because we all know the pounds that comes along with being in a relationship. Besides, when the relationship is over it’s going to be hard to find another suitor with a gut. I guess that’s why revenge exercise exists.

I get that when you have finally find someone that turns you on mentally, emotionally, spiritually and of course physically that’s all you want to do is be with them. Your friends can only give you so much that a person who knows you intimately gives more. Otherwise, all that calorie counting and subtracting goes in vain.

I even understand and I’m that friend that will be there with open arms and a buddy pass to the gym when the love affair is over and you need a friend again. Friends are the family you get to choose but being in a committed relationship is the ultimate goal for some.

I always tell my friends the moment I get a man I’m never answering the phone again! I know when I don’t hear from my friends it must be going good, it’s that late night phone call of them crying that I’m scared of.

I will admit it took me a while to be so perceptive. I was like many of you bitter fatso’s when my friend would disappear the moment they went steady. I no longer had my clubbing buddy, gym partner or sidekick to get in trouble with not realizing that I was focusing too much on being with my friends and not creating my own family. I think that today’s independent society has shamed people or romantics into not wanting or exclaiming their want for a relationship or to be all about their significant other.

Cut to today, with all my friends getting married and birthing babies our infamous getaways have turned into long, noisy and sometimes boring anniversary and birthday parties. I’ve totally mastered the consuming effect that relationships have. All that time away they were off building a wonderful next chapter to their life and it was time for me to do so as well.

Now that I’m dating and found someone that is seemingly the guy for me I completely see how one can get lost and forget the outside world. When you’re dating someone that is really patient, responsive and ken to your personality and desires (vise versa) its automatic that you would want to spend all your time with them.

I now know firsthand that when you’re really enjoying your relationship it’s like being on your own private island that you don’t want to leave. If you pick your mate well you then have someone to talk to about your friends and family, someone to go out with or on trips that isn’t your friends and to share the emotional and finical load that don’t come with friendship. Or simply someone to lay up with. Let’s face it, you can’t screw your friends, and if you are then that isn’t your friend and you both are delusional.

Relationships are engulfing due to the security and adventure that comes with it. I believe it’s perfectly fine to drop your friends for a lover. I can’t begin to explain the things a healthy relationship can do for you that friends can’t. Friends are a great support system but to not understand your friends absence whenever they are dating is selfish and greedy. You shouldn’t want your friend to be lonely like you. Yes, there is balance in between the two but there also should be acceptance from you as a friend.

I remember the day when my married friends would die to hang with me and I would send them home with the tagline “go home to your man, don’t be out here struggling with me because the second I find someone to go home with you’re by yourself.”

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