Tag Archives: Exes

The 5 Second Rule Only Applies to Food.

30 Jul

John Bartlett SS13John Bartlett SS/13 Cruelty Free Collection

I try my best to live very eco-friendly; all my household cleaning products are bio degradable, I bike, I’m water efficient, only use electricity (other than my computer) at night, I eat natural/organic and of course I recycle.

Still, no matter how much I am pro “reduce, reuse, recycle’’ I do NOT believe in recycling penis.

Which leads me to a question that I am constantly dissecting with friends: What does it really means to be friends with your ex?

I feel as though my friends and I have the most profound conversations over food. Howbeit, my little way of distracting them from eating. I’m a great friend I save them from empty calories anyway possible.

Meanwhile, can you really befriends with an ex. Most people answer no and look at others with a very suspecting denouncing look if they say yes. Personally I don’t care if we just were talking, went a few dates or once was in a full blown relationship when it’s over it’s over. I really don’t care to travel down that road again there are too many guys out here to backtrack. Does that mean we can’t be cordial? No, however we must understand what it really means to be friends with your ex.

There are two types of friends: Recycled Penis & Converted Relationship.

Recycled Penis: This is usually when you or the other party didn’t want to breakup but circumstances dictated otherwise. One is hanging around maybe waiting on the relationship to rekindle. Someone did something ruthless to cause the breakup and the guilt makes them feel obligated to stay around. More importantly the sex is reliable and good not to mention one of you are too lazy to move so you’ve conjured up this scheme of “let’s be friends.”

Converted Relationship: You’ve spent majority of your time with this person they know more about you than your friends as well as, they are a breath of fresh air from your friends. The romance didn’t quite work but you guys can really count on one another. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” -Sun-Tzu, I mean they do know all your secrets. Also, because you two once dated they are still obligated to do the boring things you want to do that your friends are always too busy to do. In addition to mature people are to be able to understand the end of something and realize the start of something better. Just because you aren’t sleeping together doesn’t mean you can’t like each other. The conversation was great but the sex was awkward and uneventful.

Now here’s where most of you delusional hippos get being friends with your ex ridiculously confused.

When you’re ex isn’t your ex: If your guys are still screwing, leading on one another one, still fighting when you could just not speak and getting jealous when they are dating someone else.

As for myself, yes I think I can be friends with an ex. I can credit the example my parents’ relationship set. Three years ago my parents got a divorce but they are the best of friends, they still attend family functions, still hangout and help each other in a pinch. They are better friends than married and they understand that. When I’m not judging you on your eating habits I can be a nice person. I cherish people that come into my life I remember that there was a time when I longed for said ex to be in my life. I feel the worst thing I can do to a person is not have them in my life so it’s either way with me. If I still adore their charming and admirable qualities then why not remain friends. I do understand that if they meet someone new that isn’t comfortable with our background it’s perfectly fine to discontinue the friendship.

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