Tag Archives: inspiration

“Getting back to ME! 2.0”

28 Jan

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There’s no other diluted, delusional, renewed outlook on life mantra I have great disdain for other than the “going back to the old me” many mentally and emotionally stuck referrer to when looking for answers after an unsatisfactory chain of events.

I, like many of you get off track, loose focus or could have handle some situations better that have me questioning the person I’ve become. When I’m going through confusing or overwhelming current life happenings of course the past looks simpler and easier than things are now.

Nevertheless, this backwards way of thinking is the reason why many can’t find direction in life, chase unrealistic dreams and can’t seem to successfully deal with conflict or disappointment because they are still hiding from their mediocrity behind a wall of lies they’ve built as to why their past self was so “great.”

I’ve noticed that some people first response or resolution to dealing with a current life hurdle is to proclaim to go to/get back to the old “me” because somehow the person they have grown pass will better help them deal with the present.

I get it, people will try to hoodwink, bamboozle, run-a-muck or simply piss you off. However, in what parallel university will it be a forward move for you to set a goal of self-growth based on things/experiences you’ve already done, poorly? We should always be aiming to become better in general.

Worry less about who you use to be or how you would’ve dealt with people “if this was two years ago” but more so on using your current situation to reevaluate yourself to restructure a way of thinking and execution to propel you into a better you.

Pain, angst and disappointment is temporary that’s why the body forgets it so easily, also why we have a tendency to romanticize past life events as we look back trying to recapture those great moments of late night early morning past. Not realizing those great moments came with some tough times and bad mistake themselves.

Let’s take why you’re fat for example (YES, we are here again, it’s always about your gut) right now you’re annoyed with your current size, don’t know where to start on a fitness journey and as you look over pictures from high school or before the kids you realized you were rather stealth. The first inclining your delusional self-conscious tells you… man I need to get back to that body. Yes, you look slim in those pics, was in the gym 5 days a week and as you look down at your gut that person in the pictures seems to be a sexier livelier you.

However, if you go back mentally to that time of picture perfect physique you’ll your remember you HATED your body then. As well as, you didn’t have a job, family, relationship and a crammed schedule that kept you from the gym, eating crappy meals to save time and relationship issues that kept you up at night in the Krispy Kreme drive-thru. Even how you interact with people, looking for a career, or simply trying to find motivation to create purpose for your life, going back to a ghost of a person that didn’t have it all together in first place, hence the reason you’re at this personality crossroads isn’t a progressive solution but one that will forever keep you stuck.

Yes, you have many great qualities that you may have let go unused but, going forward shouldn’t require or inspire you to go back. Take all the great and horrible things from your past to map out a plan to get you out of your current rut and use your goal to build a better you with the motivation it will take to use that plan to execute your dreams.

Don’t be that old drunk that always reminiscing about what they use to have or what they use to be. Always be pushing forward take all you life happenings and let the be a point of reference of things you need to work, elevated to leave behind. Dwelling on the past albeit good or bad will not help your present or help you arrive at a progressive future. Whatever you want to fix or get a handle on in your life (physical, emotional, career, financially or relationship wise) isn’t about chasing a dream of delusional years past but creating a new you.

Be the YOU right now– 2.0!

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Find Your Lite.

5 Nov

Lite (1)

It’s time to put your angst on a diet! Or just get it liposucked out your life all together.

Whatever is it that gives you energy, focus or momentum keep that and not bog yourself down with clouded judgments and irrational choices made in desperation or being unprepared.

You know the story, you set a goal (lose 10 pounds, save 1000 dollars or start that project) get everything in order to make it happen, start seeing some progress and something unexpected is thrown in your life (breakup, high bill or people helping don’t come through) then all of the sudden you feel heavy, dark and just want to give up. Only weeks later now you’re in a rut and upset with yourself because you still haven’t accomplished what you set out to do.

That is me some of the time, I set out to do so much at the start of every month, I’ll have a list of 10 things to get said goals accomplished and if I complete all but one I feel like the most sluggish disappointing fatso ever.

I understand life happens and you can’t prepare for the unexpected but you can have a plan to make your way through the darkness and lighten your load. It’s all about finding your drive and using it to keep you pushing towards your goals. Constantly we are told that we should be setting goals and mapping out our life but never how we are to stay on course.

I’m a firm believer of what you don’t get done today just put it on the list for tomorrow. However, that’s easier said than done when you tried, looking for help and can’t seem to win no matter how much you organize. This is where finding your “lite” is all about it. What is your escape?

In having a goal it should be a reason to why you want to achieve that goal. For some it’s their kids, others their closets and most their future, but for right now what tangible aids could you name that help you get through tough times to remain strong willed to travel with a heavy load? What will help you see through the darkness. It could be a book, televisions show a collection of pictures, a childhood memory or someone you look up to all to help your remember why it is you embarked on this trail that could be used as some sort of flashlight or wheelbarrow to propel you on your journey to success.

For me it documentmenting everything; my thinspiration board, dry erase board and cellular calendar. I know these things are basic and not the common “my mom” or “my family” motivators. But what these things represent is that feeling I get when I’m checking things off my dry erase board, showing up ready to work at every schedule calendar appointment and having the excitement and inspiration to create/buy/workout awesome things pasted together on my thinspiration board. Each of these tools take me to a light and cheery space giving me the energy I need to want to continue to victory.

Lists, boards and having a tangible motivator is all about accountability. We may not have control over the outcome but we have a responsibility to ourselves to deal with it. No matter what is thrown at us or how awful it makes me/you feel abandoning our goal because of it still leave all the blame on you.

Lite (2)
When life shuts down a tunnel in your road to greatness you don’t just give in, you maintain and find a new route. Sometimes when I get bad news in the middle of the day I just want to cancel everything and just go home, go to sleep until I feel better but that doesn’t get any of my goals achieved nor help me deal with the new problem.

We have to have an escape plan from those dark times, it could be setting a daily to-do list, have a mantra posted on everything or simply taking a few minutes to decompress and escape mentally to a private place that will help you get back to work.

Not everything will work your way yet you still can have everything you want. Finding your lite is about being noticed, clear minded and hopeful. Be more optimistic, use every mistake and success to learn from to store and use for the future.

Find what makes you happy, understand why is it that you want a specific accomplishment and what will it mean if you don’t get it. These three rationales will help you strengthen yourself against the dark side of life.

So as some on you are in the middle of your squat or ab challenges and don’t feel like you have the time or aren’t looking like you hoped ask yourself is this what you really want and and what else could you be doing not to give up and get better results.

That’s another things, is the things you say you want really what you want? Are you just making goals to compete with someone or validate yourself for another shortcoming or failed attempt at what it is you truly desire. Maybe that is why you can’t ever stay motivated because you’re not invested. When you’re invested nothing can get in your way.

The moral of the store; stay ready so you don’t have to get ready. Life is a scary dark tunneled with carb load distraction at every stop. Stay strong and head for the light. Skinny is on the other side.

Weighing Yourself.

29 Oct

Security

Here’s the skinny about really being secure… It’s not about not being jealous, envious or having self-pity. It’s about knowing your faults albeit, recognizing or assessing them yet being 100% OKAY with someone not being able to accept them.

I’m a person that no matter how dismissive I can be or find most people’s P.O.V. benign or delusional I do enjoy talking, sharing ideas and helping other young men build their confidence. Even with this site, I know I write a lot about being fit and dressing great that may come off to others as if I have body image issues. However, that is so far from the underlying attitude of this site that I’m willing to run the distance between the two because I’m sure to burn a few 1000 calories.

I honestly wholeheartedly believe that everyone should and deserve to be the best possible YOU they can be, even if it’s being the best at your job, as a lover, a dressers, a friend, mentally, emotionally or physically.

We all should thrive to get to a point of our lives to where no one can point out our faults and we fester in that angst causing immobility of self progression.

Here recently I was conversing with a young black gay man about confidence and security. As I was giving him my opinions about dating, sexuality and self worth he simply asked me, “how did you get so confident?” At first I was taken aback by the question because in all my self-realization I know for sure I still have things to work on and that the failure of learning is basically giving up on life, although I still had an answer.

The reason I speak so “matter-of-factly” on things is because I’m completely secure with myself. Being secure didn’t merely come from liking what I see in the mirror, it also in part of learning from mistakes, always being honest with myself and most importantly being able to be alone with myself.

Security is protection, and to be able to protect yourself you have to equip yourself with artillery that will help you survive. Those things are developing common sense, an education and being street smart. Yes you should have self worth but in order to have that you have to be honesty and understand all the good, bad and mediocrity about yourself.

Because I’m constantly learning and challenging myself I know that there is nothing about me that someone can say that will make me fall down a foxhole of dark despair from which that comment came from. Security is about knowing that your contribution is important regardless of a contradictory opinion.

Building my self-esteem was (still being) developed by thinking objectively. I use every opportunity to grow, whether it’s a failed relationship, poor test grades or a less than great work review. I have to try to understand what the other person is thinking in order to see myself in a different light to push myself to be better. Along with having great parents, outspoken friends and accepting life as it is, I had to really get in touch with ME. Not every judgment of you should be put under major scrutiny (that’s how self doubt is grown) but when more than one person has pointed out something about you maybe it’s time to reevaluate. I can’t let other people’s opinion about me get me down, however I can use it to elevate myself. Security is more than knowing what you bring to the table; real security is when they don’t take from your table then what’s your reaction after that.

You can’t make someone like you because you like them, you can’t fault someone for not reciprocation interest but you can switch up your approach. Go after something else, be more than just your shortcomings and deal in facts.

Doubts are devised in opinions, which lead to insecurity; clarity is mastered in facts that mature security.

Be open and real with yourself; only you know what you are capable of, therefore how can someone dictate what you are. Look outside yourself to really see yourself. My idea of security is less about walking in a room and being the most confident, fit or intellectually but knowing that I matter.

I know that others may not view me in the same light as I view myself and I’m 100% okay with that. Whether I’m giving an ultimatum, being turned down or severing ties with someone I’m secure in who am to make that leap and get past it.

Keep Growing!

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